Our Penultimate Weekend, And The Secret Art Of Pond Skimming

It's the second to last weekend of the season, Bolton fans, and it should begin with a splash. That's a little Pond Skimming pun for you. You're welcome. I know we're all a little tense, because the end of the lift-accessed season is always bittersweet. Bitter, because it's hard to say goodbye to snow, and snow-covered mountains, and sliding on snow-covered mountains. And sweet, because soon it'll be socially acceptable for me to wear my Speedo outside again. In some cultures, at least.

In this issue:
~ Weekend Projections: The Last Ride Of Timberline And Wilderness
~ Tickets And Passes: Deals Daily, Nightly, And All Year Long
~ Final Events: Pond Skimming And Easter Egg Hunting
~ Contest: Snowfall

Weekend Projections: The Last Ride Of Timberline And Wilderness 
After putting Friday's hilarious winter temperatures behind us, we'll be back on a spring-like weather trajectory for the penultimate weekend of the ski season. That's the right word, by the way. I looked it up. Though "penultimate" would also make a great name for a superhero who's power is awesome penmanship. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you're going to miss this when I'm gone. We'll see sunshine Saturday, partly sunny skies Sunday, and perhaps a bit of snow to close out the weekend. Highs will climb from the low-30s today, to the low-40s by the middle of next week. But don't worry: getting soaked in our pond this afternoon is a great way to escape those tropical temperatures. It's the humidity that gets you. And now, here's a snowboarder demonstrating the risky "Above All Else, Keep Your Feet Dry" strategy last year:

The big news: Timberline and Wilderness are both in action this weekend, together again like in a buddy cop movie. Wilderness is the grizzled veteran, days away from retirement, while Timberline is the loose cannon, always crossing that line between the law and the lawless. These are the last two days those lifts are scheduled for the season--so after the weekend, I'll have to demand they turn over their guns and badges, because they've been kicked off this case. We have true spring conditions, with firm surfaces early, softening under the sunshine and rising temperatures. That means we'll begin each day with the groomed trails open, and let ropes drop on ungroomed terrain as it softens. All lifts will spin this weekend, starting at 8:30am with the Vista Quad. And today will be our final night skiing session of the season, and the last Bolton After Dark for, like, 8 months. So, cherish those $19 night skiing tickets, treasure your $2 pizza, responsibly consume that $2 beer, revel in our 8pm movie (Shaun White's "Project X"), and do all you can to forget every last second of the dueling interpretive dances Josh and I will preform to close out the evening. It's the only way you'll ever sleep again. Example: my dance is titled "The Wilderness In Me, And The Mitey Mite Inside Us All". For daily updates, sign up for our Snow Report here. And if once a day just isn’t enough, you can now follow Bolton Valley on Facebook and Twitter.

Tickets And Passes: Deals Daily, Nightly, And All Season Long
I don't know if I can do this anymore, you guys. I've been talking about next year's Season Passes (available now!) non-stop since March 1st. Lately, I've been scribbling the list of passholder benefits all over my walls in black marker (20% off rentals, retail, lessons, and lodging). That can't be good. Last night I dreamt that an angry season pass was chasing me with a giant pair of scissors, shouting "All access! Give me all access!" (our All-Access Pass is good for both Alpine and Nordic terrain next season, as well as the Sports Center, with its pool, hot tub, and sauna). I don't know how to interpret that imagery, but I don't like it. Prices go up after April 4th, so grab your pass now and put me out of my misery. I've been sleeping with the lights on, in case my season pass comes to life and tries to smother me with a pillow. I'm so tired.

And while we're all here, I should mention that, starting Monday, lift tickets are just $29 straight through the rest of the season. It's only 7 days, but I thought it sounded more majestic if I said "the rest of the season". That's also why I call my Honda "The Concorde", and my house "The Guggenheim Museum".

Final Events: Pond Skimming And Easter Egg Hunting
Since ancient times, there has been no more celebrated rite of spring than strapping one or more planks on and trying to ski across open water. I'm sure we're all familiar with those medieval tapestries. The ones with all those tiny knights pond skimming. I'm pretty sure I either saw them at the Louvre, or in a dream I once had about the Louvre. The point is: Pond Skimming is this Saturday (aka, "today"), it's historically significant, and everybody who isn't me should do it. The theme is "The 70s", and we'll have music, prizes, and a series of spectacular watery crashes that will somehow symbolically evoke the 1973 Oil Crisis. Our man-made pond has been built on the slope outside the Base Lodge, so everyone can watch the skimmers try their luck at crossing the water armed with nothing but gravity, technique, and severe clinical hydrophobia. The event is open to skiers or riders, and registration costs $5. The relevant details can be found, read, and pondered here.

And then next Sunday, on the last day of our season, we'll host the first ever (probably) Bolton Valley Easter Egg Hunt. I know, literally, nothing about this event, and you can find more information here. But for now, I'll tell you what I imagine it will be like, and then we can all see how close I get: (1) there will be plastic eggs hidden around the Base Lodge and, maybe, in some of our snow; (2) special treats and prizes will be hidden inside those eggs; (3) at some point the Easter Bunny and the Bolton Valley Moose will square off in ritualistic combat; (4) we'll construct--and then set on fire--a giant wicker statue of Bode Miller; and (5) at the end of the day, I'll take The Concorde back to The Guggenheim Museum*. I don't know much about Easter traditions, but that all sounds right to me.

Contest: Snowfall
Our contest last week featured the return of an old classic: anagrams. The phrase to de-scramble was "She Tours," and the trail it referred to was, of course, Sure Shot. I had thought only supercomputers could solve such an impossible puzzle, but, to my surprise, many of you had the correct answer. So I picked the cutest entry. It was from Finn Wood-Westenberg, and it began "Hi, my name is Finn. I am a girl and I am 11 years old." That's adorable. And I don't even care if this was written by a fully-grown adult shamelessly posing as a tween--it was an artful forgery and, thus, deserving of a reward. For this week, we have a challenge more suited to random guessers: what was the largest 24-hour snowfall total on the mountain this season? I haven't looked it up, so I honestly don't know. If I had to guess, I'd say 7 feet. But I've already told you I'm awful at estimating things. Whenever I enter one of those "How many jellybeans in this jar?" contests, I just write down "None" and hope it was a trick question. So, consult your snow charts, send your answer in to me at jthibault@boltonvalley.com, and one of you will receive a free lift ticket for next season. Or this season, I guess, if you don't believe in the unstoppable forward progression of time. For example: if you have a Delorean with the flux capacitor upgrade.

That's all for now, Bolton Heroes. There's only one week of spring skiing remaining, and carving up soft snow under the high March sun is always one of the highlights of the year. Sadly, it almost always comes in the springtime. More importantly, there's only one newsletter left in the season, and I intend to make it special. It might end up being nothing but one of those electronic greeting cards that plays an mp3 of Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust". Or maybe I'll just e-mail everyone the series of sketches I did of me, riding a centaur, who's riding a snowmobile. And, yes, we are both in Speedos.

Justin

* That one is just for you folks that read this whole thing in order, from start to finish. I wish I had more to give.