Ticket Deals, Soft Snow, And Marching Bravely Into Spring

It's the last day of winter, Bolton fans, and another spring-skiing weekend is upon us. The days are getting longer, the air is getting warmer, and the sun is getting sunnier. Which means the ski season is nearing its homestretch, and the urge to get in as many turns as possible every day is overpowering. For example: I'm supposed to have written a wedding toast for tomorrow, but because of all this sunshine and soft snow, the speech is nothing but crudely pasted together selections from recent Bolton Valley Newsletters. I'm working on a way to turn pond skimming into an elegant metaphor for the challenges and triumphs of matrimony. But the references to "flawless grooming" and "freeze-thaw cycles" kind of come out of nowhere.

In this issue:
~ Weekend Projections: Same As It Ever Was
~ Upcoming Events: Family Fun Day And Pond Skimming
~ Ticket Deals: The Undeniable Appeal of Sub-$30 Skiing
~ Season Passes: Like A Swiss Army Knife, But Better
~ Contest: The Return Of Anagrams

Weekend Projections: Same As It Ever Was 
At this point, I have run out of ways to say "sunshine and spring conditions". I have both "sunny" and "soft" bookmarked on thesaurus.com. Nevertheless, Saturday should be "radiant" and "cheery", while well above average highs reach the upper-50s and yield "flocculent" snow surfaces. We may see a bit of snowfall (can you imagine?) Saturday night into Sunday morning, with clouds dominating for a day or two and bringing the chance for rain showers. By Tuesday, we should be back to enjoying partly "luminous" skies. Basically, this month has been relentlessly pleasant, but I'm ready for some unstable weather. I think it's a bad sign when I wake up every morning and shake my fist angrily at the sun. But then it goes and does something like this, and I forget that I was ever mad:

The plan for the weekend couldn't be easier: (1) run all 6 lifts, (2) drop ropes on all 64 trails, (3) open all 3 terrain parks, and (4) develop some sort of "space parachute" that will slow the Earth's rotation and, thus, prolong the ski season.* I've been doing some experiments with a tablecloth and a soccer ball, and I think the technology is almost there. Over half of those trails will get smoothed out each night by our flawless groomers, while surfaces cycle from firm loose and frozen granular early, to soft spring conditions later on. Ungroomed terrain is more variable, and generally takes more time to soften. Our weekend operations begin at 8:30am when the Vista Quad fires up, joined by the rest of our lifts between 9 and 10am. We'll host night skiing from 4 to 8pm Saturday, because my idea to host night skiing from midnight to 4am still hasn't gained any momentum. This Saturday evening will be the second to last Bolton After Dark of the season, featuring those $19 lift tickets, $2 pizza, $2 beer, an 8pm ski movie, and my much-hyped attempt to set a new world record for "ski pole swallowing". The current record is "zero". Officials from the Guiness Book will be in attendance, and please remember that I require complete silence at all times. For daily updates, sign up for our Snow Report here. And if once a day just isn’t enough, you can now follow Bolton Valley on Facebook and Twitter.

Upcoming Events: Family Fun Day And Pond Skimming
As many of you almost certainly don't recall, last week's newsletter contained a complete list of our spring events. It was very difficult for me to assemble--mostly because it came dangerously close to being useful. Nevertheless, we have two big Bolton Valley "happenings" in the next 10 days, and I'm determined to talk about them again for some reason.

First, this Sunday (March 21st) will be Family Fun Day, with a bunch of family-friendly Alpine and Nordic activities, and a lift ticket deal for kids and adults. Those activities include a ski/snowboard race on Beech Seal, a snowshoe scavenger hunt at the Nordic Center, a costume relay, and a rail jam in the Progression Park curiously titled "The Progresssession". For everyone's sake, I hope some of those letters are silent. We'll also host an encore presentation of Vermont Specialty Food Day with the VSAA. Which is good, because I haven't done groceries in awhile, and I'm going to need enough free samples to make up about a half dozen meals.

And then, next Saturday (March 27th) is the highly-anticipated return of everyone's favorite spring spectacle: Pond Skimming. We'll build a pond on the slope right outside the Base Lodge, and dare you to make it across on skis or boards. I've been practicing for weeks in my bathtub. The theme this year is "The 70s", and I can't wait to show off my costume. It's a tribute to the Franco-Prussian War from 1870 to 1871 and the fall of the Second French Empire, with a sly homage to Edison's invention of the phonograph in 1876. Plus, I'll be on fire.

Ticket Deals: The Undeniable Appeal of Sub-$30 Skiing
Tomorrow is the first official day of spring, and change is all around us. Flowers bloom, lift ticket prices inexplicably drop, and I start trying once again to mow the lawn with my snow blower. Because I don't like change. With all this upheaval, it's important to keep things simple. Which is why all mid-week lift tickets for the rest of the season will be just $29 for everyone--man, woman, child, or beast. As always, human-beast hybrids ski free, if you let me ride you. That deal is good Monday through Friday, from now until the lifts stop spinning. For us night owls, night skiing tickets will be $19 every evening starting Wednesday, and going straight through to the final night skiing session of the season on Saturday, March 27th. I know it's suspicious that I don't have a link for this, but, trust me, it's real. As real as my fear of Irish stepdancing. And while we're discussing how to ski for very little money, don't forget about Thursday's final "Drive to 25" event in honor of the 25th anniversary of the Youth Conservation Corps. All you have to do is bring in two non-perishable food items to donate to the Richmond Food Shelf, and you get to ski or ride for just $25. Granted, this was a more impressive deal before the $29 ticket thing I just talked about...but, still. For my 25th birthday, all I got was a king-sized Snickers bar and an itemized bill from my parents seeking reimbursement for 25 years of raising me. It's the interest that really gets you.

Season Passes: Like A Swiss Army Knife, But Better
Well, I've talked about next year's Season Passes (on sale now) in each of the last two newsletters (here, and here), and I don't know if I have any more words left. I've already mentioned how they save money for frequent-skiers, make eye-catching accessories for clubbing, and are great conversation starters when speed dating. And I've filled you in on the passholder benefits (like 20% off on rentals, lessons, lodging, and probably other stuff that I'd look up if it wasn't so sunny out), and how you can ski free for the rest of this season if you buy next year's pass now (while it's at its lowest price, anyway, and, thus, a savvy financial move). I unveiled simplified family pricing, and the new "All-Access" feature, which gets Alpine passholders full use of the Nordic Center. I've even implied that, in a tight spot, you can use your Season Pass as a weapon of self-defense, much like a ninja throwing star (note: for legal reasons, we never said this out loud, but it was overtly hinted at). So, all that's left is to buy one, and thus begin your magical journey of winter wonderment.

Contest: The Return Of Anagrams
Last week, I asked you to set aside your good-hearted nature, and pick out a place to be our new arbitrary nemesis. Only mountains were eligible, so we had to disqualify such excellent entries as "my brother", and "the state of New Hampshire". Ultimately, the winner was the following soap operatic suggestion sent in by Sarah Hardy: "Bolton Valley's Evil Twin". I like surprise twists, and I often imagine what the mountain would look like with a classic "evil twin" mustache--so a free lift ticket good any day this season or next is on its way to Sarah. This week should be less melodramatic, as we bring back our Anagram Contest: the letters of "She Tours" can be rearranged to spell what Bolton trail name? Puzzle it out, send your answer in to me at jthibault@boltonvalley.com, and one of you will receive your own free lift ticket for your trouble. If you're curious, "She Tours" is also the title of my self-published novel. It's about the adventures of an exotically beautiful young woman as she explores the backcountry stashes of Vermont in search of untracked lines, true love, and herself. She also fights vampires.

That's all this time, Bolton Literati. I have to admit, it has been a perfect storm of distractions this week: incredible weather, first-class spring conditions, and college basketball. We just don't have an infinite supply of days like this left. In fact, I don't even know how a newsletter got done this week. Well, yes I do: a windowless room, an IV-bag full of Mountain Dew, and the threat of violence.

Justin

* I saw something kind of like this in a movie once, but my letters to Superman keep getting returned.